Choose Joy, Part II
In Choose Joy Part 1, I invited you to ask yourself a simple question that is at the root of Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: Does it spark joy?
I invited you to ask this of the big stuff in your life—your relationships and pursuits.
In the four years since I discovered Marie Kondo, I’ve been doing this myself. Tidying my home with this question as a guide has led me to see the objects I’ve kept with new lenses:
The red vintage model truck from Detroit reminds me of the friend I visit there each fall—the one who shares my love of pumpkin picking, cider tasting, and hunting for small things. In that truck I see my playful side—and a dear friend.
The forked driftwood recalls a solo trip I made to Maine five years ago—the slow walks I took along that glorious seven-mile beach, the birds that left tiny prints. In that piece of wood I see my desire for space to stretch my legs—and my imagination.
These musings about beloved objects have nudged me, in turn, to look closely at the bigger stuff in my own life. And to make big changes.
Tidying for joy invites new vision. And with that, new possibility.
And so, here is an exercise to get you started on this journey with me.
When you have a block of uninterrupted time and quiet, try this:
Put on music that reminds you of someone in your life who sparks joy (or that evokes memories of a past relationship like this). Maybe it’s a friend who recognizes your potential and loves even your oddest quirks. Or a partner who encourages you to dream big—and to take action.
Ask yourself:
Do I feel happy when I spend time with this person?
Does he/she lift me up? Inspire me? Bring out my best?
If your goal is to feel more connected with yourself and your life, pose these questions about the work you do, and the activities you pursue in your free time.
Ask yourself:
Do I feel happy when I perform this activity/role?
Does this fulfill me? Inspire me? Bring out my passion?
Once you’ve identified a relationship or activity that sparks joy, think of the specifics surrounding it, and envision those in as much detail as you can. What makes the relationship or activity so special? What feelings does it evoke? Who are you in the context of it?
Get out your computer or a piece of paper and write. See what comes up. Don’t censor yourself. This is for you, no one else. Let yourself discover any insights about who and what sparks joy for you.
Once you’ve finished this exercise, make a list of the key people or pursuits in your life. You don’t have to write at length about each one—though you can. Use what you wrote as your measure for the rest. Be honest with yourself. You’ll be surprised how simple it is to identify who and what sparks joy.
Happy life sorting!