Choose Joy, Part I

Four years ago I caught the Marie Kondo bug. For those of you unfamiliar with organizing guru Marie Kondo, you can read about her here: https://konmari.com

Until then, I’d spent my life in an endless tug of war between fastidious tidying and, well, piles and piles of disarray. And suddenly here it was: the answer to organizing my home, once and for all, lovingly whispered in the pages of a tiny book bound by a cover of soft blue hues.

And it was so simple: 

Does it spark joy? 

If yes, keep. If not, toss. 

And so sort I did. I began as the book suggests, with clothes. I laid every piece I owned on my bed and then one by one, held a blouse or skirt or sock in my hands and posed that question. 

Does it spark joy? 

Each piece was then either thanked for its service (an important step!) and donated, or kept and hung or folded just so. By the end of the sorting, my closets and drawers were pared down not to the essentials but to what I loved. Just looking at it sparked joy. And it does to this day. 

Since then, I have applied the KonMari method to other categories in my home, and each time, I have experienced this same result. The items I’ve kept make me feel happy. 

I share this not to encourage you to get your own copy of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up—though do!—but because Marie Kondo’s simple message extends well beyond the walls of our homes. If you read to the end of the book, you’ll see that tidying your things makes way for deciding how you want to live.

Which means that this one question—Does it spark joy?—applies not only to the objects that surround you, but also to how you fill your time, and with whom. And really, what could be more important than that?

Now, I don’t mean to suggest that sorting relationships and pursuits is as straightforward as sorting inanimate objects. It’s easy to toss a stretched out sweater, less so an old friend. Never mind the soul-sucking family member or toxic job. 

Extricating yourself from a joyless relationship or role also isn’t always immediate; it can take real effort. Some you may even choose or need to remain in for compelling reasons. 

And of course, saying goodbye, even to people and pursuits that make us unhappy, can trigger sorrow. Relationships that have been years in the making may feel like an extension of ourselves—or of who we once were. 

But bear with me. Because when you do part ways with the big stuff in your life that doesn’t spark joy, there’s time to nurture all the big stuff that does. 

There is space for new connections, new pursuits. 

You may find, as I have, that you’ve unintentionally lost touch with people and activities that once made you deeply happy—and begin to reconnect with those.

So here’s an invitation. As summer flowers give way to autumn leaves and the air begins to cool, take time to reflect. Examine the big things in your life and for each one, ask that question:

Does this spark joy?

Know this: when you fill your life with people and pastimes that are an easy “yes” to that question, you will feel the deepest kind of joy.